Don’t throw them off guard by bringing up the topic out of nowhere. Tell them you are reminiscing the times together and how happy you were when you were with them. Once you can successfully pass that, then comes the casual conversation via that will maintain the flow of communication. Once you get a favorable response you can start texting to get your ex back. You don’t want to drive them away by telling them in the first message that you want to get back together.
It might be tempting to send a long, detailed apology, but it’s better to have as much of this conversation in person as possible, if they’re up for it. And if they don’t want to have the conversation at all — well, you tried. It’s awful to feel like there are things left unsaid, but the best way to prove you care about the hurt you caused is to respect what your ex needs. Here are six simple, direct, and casual ways to start a conversation.
Break up was hard and you don’t want your ex to remember just the harsh words. Text little somethings that remind you of your time together. Do not directly say that you miss via them, instead talk about some activity that you did together and how every time you do it alone you miss them. It is very difficult to initiate contact after a breakup.
These are three very simple text messages to send your ex to reintroduce communication. It is so important that you keep in control of your emotions here because you don’t want to come across as being too clingy, needy, available and/or desperate. Reason and logic have no place right after a breakup.
As long as you’re fully prepared to not receive an answer, or like Walker says, receive a less than favorable one, opening up the floor for your ex to share their perspective is an option to consider. Depending on the circumstances in which you broke up, they might have just as many unresolved thoughts and feelings as you. Regardless of that reason, it’s easy to look back on a relationship with rose-colored glasses when you’re far removed from the events that transpired, so be sure to examine the situation truthfully. “While I normally would advise against circling back around to an old relationship … I have seen people get back with exes and make it work,” says Walker. This will put all the focus on the time spent together and not on the relationship or the breakup.
Even if you don’t necessarily want to get back together with your ex, be conscious about how they might feel about the situation, too. But if some time has passed and you’ve changed your perspective, you may want to reach out. If you’re contacting your ex to apologize, try to keep things short and simple. There’s no need to play the blame game or exchange too many pleasantries — especially if your ex doesn’t want to chat.