Text Your Ex Backwhen?:
Your texts need to show that you’re rebuilding your life and you’re in a new frame of mind. You don’t have to do this EVERY single time you talk with your ex, but for the most part, you should aim to be the one to end most texting conversations with your ex. Don’t put too much time into any single text message, just keep them brief and fun. Arguing or discussing ‘serious relationship topics’ in your texting exchanges will not only ensure your ex doesn’t enjoy the conversation, it will also remind him or her of why you broke up in the first place. This is another very, very important point’ when you’re texting back and forth with your ex, it’s crucial that you avoid getting into any kind of argument or drama with them.
In these cases, the only parties who may get upset are new partners that come into the picture. You and the ex were together for years and part of each other’s families. As such, sending condolences upon hearing of a death is the thoughtful, mature choice.
These occasional messages will show your caring side to your ex and, they will miss the attention. Here are some examples of casual chit-chat have a peek here and how you can keep the conversation flowing. Remember, we are here to help you every step of the way so please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Your messages should try to fill the gap and bring you both closer before you can take the next step to meet and resolve the issues. An easy way to remind yourself of post-breakup text etiquette is by immediately removing any identifying emojis and nicknames from your ex’s contact. But it’s a visual indication that shows up every time you open a conversation with them, reminding you things aren’t the way they used to be.
Sometimes, I recommend waiting a full 24 hours before replying to your ex’ and depending on the situation, sometimes I recommend waiting longer. Again, you’re going to want to wait a period of time before replying to more hints your ex if they do text you. It’s difficult to know when you SHOULD text your ex, so if you feel like you need some extra guidance, then you might want to consider signing up for my personal e-mail coaching service.
Much like Top Tip #3, forcing answers to some of the bigger questions and putting your ex on the spot will never end well. You are both in the position you are in right now and dragging up the past or trying to jump 5 steps into the future isn’t going to help anything. There is nothing attractive about a needy person, always desperate for replies to messages and reassurance. You are hopefully getting the message by now that self-improvement really is the way forward to mending broken relationships. There will be times during your reconnection when things from the past will come up. Similarly, if your ex clearly wants the texts to be brief and less about the specifics, then you should mirror this with a conversation about more day-to-day things.
You have to stop focusing on your nostalgia and on what you’ve experienced together. Right now, your ex is feeling annoyed or angered by your text messages (and rightfully so). The next logical step, therefore, is to remove all the negative feelings your ex has of you by sending a quick apology text and employing the no-contact strategy. Remember that the effectiveness of these texts depends on your unique situation, the reasons for the breakup, and your ex’s receptiveness. Always approach these messages with sincerity, empathy, and the genuine desire to rebuild a connection. Furthermore, reconnecting with an ex can also offer invaluable insights into our own patterns of behavior and attachment styles.
By sending any of these three text messages, you turn yourself into what I call ‘The Texting Terrorist’. You’re forcing your ex to feel hurt and annoyed by you’ and in some cases, you’ll even scare your ex off completely. It doesn’t require you to have a full-blown, face-to-face conversation and it’s extremely non-invasive. Your ex is free to reply to you whenever he or she wants, and you’re able to reply to your ex’s text whenever you want too. This sort of dynamic allows you time to think about what to say before you actually say it. To put it another way, don’t conjure reasons to text someone who’s not attempted to contact you since the breakup.
Once you’ve recovered a bit and are able to regain somewhat of a positive attitude, it’s time to think of how you can go the extra mile and consequently, how to act more efficiently. All the while, remember to keep some distance to not be overbearing to your ex. Especially within a few days of the breakup, you shouldn’t try to make any plans to get together with your ex or even have a long conversation with him or her. Another frequent error is wanting to talk constantly about the past in your messages.
Now is not the time to consider who was right or wrong, but rather, it’s a time to review what could have been done differently for a happier outcome. You can also lighten the mood and discuss happier times in your relationship. What you should know, however, is that anyone that gives you this guidance is looking out for your best interest.
But if some time has passed and you’ve changed your perspective, you may want to reach out. If you’re contacting your ex to apologize, try to keep things short and simple. There’s no need to play the blame game or exchange too many pleasantries ‘ especially if your ex doesn’t want to chat. Every situation is unique so it is hard to make generalities, but I think it’s safe to say that it’s not unusual to be wondering if sending texts is something you should do. To help you gauge, here is an indicative list that will show you which actions are best in which situations.
If you do so with all your other friends, there’s nothing wrong with including an ex-turned-pal. If so, sending a cheerful note on special occasions may be appropriate. The gig could be suitable for your ex, and by hooking them up, they’ll be more inclined to do the same for you. People who ‘parallel parent’ often avoid texting in favor of a structured app built specifically for the purpose, like OurFamilyWizard or CustodyConnection.
Your texts should be about your shared interest or anything that you know your ex will respond to. Always leave the text in such a way that it initiates further conversation. Most of the times you don’t reference know how to begin the conversation. It should seem like you just want to know how your ex is doing. (Well, not unless you turn your phone on airplane mode immediately.) But that’s not always necessary.